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[Michael Murphy <1250321@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I don't see any mentions of systemd-udevd or kthreadd in these logs like
I took in my screenshots (of which I don't remember seeing issues with
efibootmgr) so the bug with Xubuntu may or may not be related to the
issue I'm having here, although I would assume there is some sort of
connection somehow. I should probably try installing Ubuntu 13.10 and
seeing if it does the same thing Xubuntu 13.10 is doing.

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https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/1250321

Title:
  Ubuntu 13.10 + 14.04 Catastrophic Random Kernel Crashes on Boot with
  ASUS Sabertooth 990FX

Status in “linux-firmware” package in Ubuntu:
  Confirmed

Bug description:
  System Specs:

  ASUS Sabertooth 990FX (with the latest BIOS)
  AMD FX-8120
  AMD Radeon HD 7950
  240GB Seagate SSD (20GiB / partition)
  2TB WD HDD (/home)

  I have installed Ubuntu 14.04 three times and each met the same fate.
  The first time you boot into the system after installing it, it works fine. However, after you install your usual programs like Steam, Skype, smplayer, etc. and reboot the system will fail on such a grand catastrophic scale that you can't even boot into recovery mode since that will begin spamming error messages quickly as well.

  It isn't related to the kernel because I used the same kernel in
  Ubuntu 13.04. I also had the same problems with Ubuntu 13.10 (I'm not
  sure if that still applies but I will soon find out).

  Meanwhile, Ubuntu 13.04 with kernel 3.12 works perfectly.
  --- 
  ApportVersion: 2.12.5-0ubuntu2
  Architecture: amd64
  CasperVersion: 1.336ubuntu1
  Dependencies:
   
  DistroRelease: Ubuntu 13.10
  LiveMediaBuild: Xubuntu 13.10 "Saucy Salamander" - Release amd64 (20131016)
  MarkForUpload: True
  Package: linux-firmware 1.116
  PackageArchitecture: all
  ProcVersionSignature: Ubuntu 3.11.0-12.19-generic 3.11.3
  Tags:  saucy
  Uname: Linux 3.11.0-12-generic x86_64
  UpgradeStatus: No upgrade log present (probably fresh install)
  UserGroups: adm cdrom dip lpadmin plugdev sambashare sudo

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